I have a lot to be grateful for. I have many blessings and I am not blind to them. I am humbled and thankful for these very things. AND I want to acknowledge that it is OKAY to acknowledge the hard in your life, your struggles, your pain, your hurt. It does not make you …
Is there a widow expectation? Is there an average widow? Is there a widow mold? I don’t know honestly. Many times over the last three years I have expressed that I don’t fit the “widow mold.” Other widows have responded saying there isn’t one. But in my experience, through my lens, I have felt a …
Fitness and nutrition has always been a huge passion of mine. Beyond the physical benefits, I am well aware of the mental health support both provide. I grew up horseback riding, so I was not a “traditional” athlete. I didn’t play high school sports or do weight training at school because what I did after …
I’m not the best friend right now. I know that. And I’m sorry. The last 3 years have been, well, there are no words. It is like the day Jake died, I died too. And the person I am now and am becoming, isn’t her, the one that existed before. I’m evolving. I’m learning. I’m …
I honestly don’t ever remember living without anxiety. I had night terrors as a child. My mom called me an “awfulizer” growing up because even then my catastrophic thinking was ingrained in me. Two years ago I started with a new therapist because I needed more help in handling the trauma of losing Jake violently. …
I had a wonderful opportunity to be a guest on the podcast, Caffeine and Sarcasm, hosted by Jake’s and my friend Logan Campbell, to discuss my experience with losing Jake in a line of duty death. Thank you Logan for the opportunity to share my story. It was an honor. Please click the link below …
Exactly a week ago, I wrote about thriving. I find that ironic as that day I felt surrounded by a sea of calm. Today I feel like a rabid UFC fighter in an apocalyptical situation stripped of my armor and seething to find a peaceful place to lick my wounds. What changed? What forces these …
Tired doesn’t even crack the surface. Exhausted, not even close. It’s days like these that I sit in bed wondering what am I doing? Really, what? I walked with anxiety and depression for years. I just did a really good job fooling myself that I was doing FINE (but Fine is really an acronym for: …