I’m sorry. When is the last time you heard that? When is the last time you said it?
I over apologize. I say sorry when I know full and well I couldn’t possibly be responsible for whatever it is I’m apologizing for. I say it when I’m anxious. I say it when I’m not sure what else to say. I say it when I’m afraid of losing you. And I say it when I really do mean it and I know I messed up.
And let me tell you something, those simple words, “I’m sorry,” mean a lot to me. To some people they don’t. Some say that they don’t need to hear those words. They need action instead, or it’s just too late.
But sorry, used correctly, not the overusing style, really means something. It means I see you. I hear you. And I know I did wrong. And I care about you enough to say it to you. It means “I will TRY to do better.”
Now let’s all face it. We are human. Whether we are adults or children, if we meant our apology, we will try AND we may fail yet again.
I believe apologies are undervalued in our society. Some even see people who apologize as weak. But let me tell you, it takes courage to own what you did and apologize for it. It may not fix what is broken, but saying it is cathartic and a sign you are growing. And to the one receiving it, it is validation that they were heard, understood, and respected by the other.
Our friendships, relationships, and marriages need this. Sorry isn’t said to wipe a slate clean and magically fix it all, but rather a declaration of your authentic self owning your imperfections and respecting the hurt you caused. Saying I’m sorry is not taking ownership of all that went awry, just your part. And if it is all yours to own, then own it.
So say I’m sorry. And if someone says it to you, understand that took courage and that they care enough about you to say it to you and try to be better.
If you’ve been wrestling with whether to say it to someone, say it!